While millions of women are enjoying a day filled with family and pampering, I experience a flood of mixed emotions. I have two healthy children and I love celebrating every holiday with them. But each year, I remember the babies who aren’t here to celebrate with me. On April 15, 2000, I suffered the first of several miscarriages. I was only three months along when we lost Hailey. Several months later it happened again. My world shattered. I was angry at God and wondered why He only blessed me with one precious little boy. I wallowed in self-pity and I asked questions like, “Am I a bad mom?” and “Am I worthy?” People made the strangest comments to me – like, “God needed more angels,” or “something must have been wrong, it was probably a blessing,” or “at least you have one child.” I mourned for a long time and held on to the thoughts of what might have been.
As God helped me heal I experienced Him in a remarkable way – through the love of women who shared my story. Their circumstances are different, but our stories are the same – we want to be mothers. So we love. We love children in our classes, or our neighborhoods, and in our extended families. We smile and hug others who share the news we wish we could share, while we cry inside. But we still love.
I also learned how worthy I am in God’s eyes. I had opportunities to share God’s love with others, young and old. And through the love of other childless women God taught me He doesn’t require women to actually bear children in order to love and be loved.
For so many women Mother’s Day is a time of sorrow and mourning what will never be. On this Mother’s Day, remember the childless woman you count as a friend. Give her special grace, knowing that she yearns for the unique bond that you share with your child. Offer love to the heartbroken mother who has lost a child. Love is full of healing.
Blessings on your day,